Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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