wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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