Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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