You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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