Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
