I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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