My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
