somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
