Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
