we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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