Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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