Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.