Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
