fuck your aforementioned shoe
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
