I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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