I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
