he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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