everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
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i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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