1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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