At least make sure they are 18
Why
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Barsexuality is the new black.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
