i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
