Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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