I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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