Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
