stop calling my apartment porn island.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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