I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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