I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
