Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
