you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
