there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
