I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
