and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize