WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
