Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my liver is dry heaving
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
