Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
