I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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