Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
