Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
