Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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