Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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