she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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