I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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