She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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