I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I have feelings that need drinking.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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