very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize