This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize