I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize