You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
