her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My feet surprised me
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