...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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