How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
