My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize