At least make sure they are 18
Why
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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