Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
