Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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