Buhtt sex?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize