I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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